I'm one day in the aftermath of learning about my cousin's death. I'm not much in a blogging mood. I'm having a hard time focusing. I'm doing my best to get back into the swing of things online. Most of my working day is spent there. Perhaps I'll be in better spirits tomorrow, but for now I'm going through the motions under the veil of this funk of a fog. I posted via my personal profile just yesterday...
"All I want and need right now is to physically be with and near my Grandmother. The house shook about 1 a.m. I woke everyone to make certain I was not imagining things. I know what I felt. Like lightning struck nearby. The whole house shook from the nonexistent thunder. I inquired again this a.m after everyone was awake.... "You sure you didn't feel the house shake?" NOTHING. Then I check my facebook and all I'm seeing in my news feed sends me into a state of shock and disbelief. I immediately called my Grandmother. Queen has alerted me of my cousin's death. The family is having a bittersweet moment. For me these tears hurt the most because I've been unable to physically be close throughout the years.... And because every memory I have of Marcus is laced with laughter! My kids and I always recall the year we moved to Fayetteville and stayed with the family a few months. I dunno what mischief landed Marcus at home and outta school during the day. But I do know when we left the turtle was moving. When we got back he wasn't. Seems boiling water and living reptiles are not meant to meet. I can laugh all these years later at the horror. My kids were mad. Lol. But we still loved our mischievous teenage 'turtle cooker'. I wont claim his death to be untimely. None of us know the day nor hour. I will claim the reason unknown though. I'm sad his physical being has been taken in such a tragic manner but I'm proud to be a JACKSON and Marcus was and will always remain a very present part of who I am. #FamilyFirstAndLast Rest In Heaven Cousin. Hug Grandad for me."
Back to that funk of a fog, I pray the family and I are not in this place very long. I'm slowly making my return back into the world. I know I can't cry and hide forever. Love ya Marcus.
Photo: Week 2--June 23, 2013. Another thing I'm really not at the moment... photogenic =(